Failure to communicate: How to fix it.

First, a video. I used this video about two and a half years ago.


We communicate with each other verbally and non-verbally. To maintain a reasonable rate of information flow from talker to listener, non-verbal handshaking from listener to talker is used for flow-control.

Unfortunately, people with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) like me (I was officially diagnosed as having an ASD, yesterday) can't detect non-verbal handshaking, resulting in failure to communicate. Body-language = Double-Dutch. This is confusing and upsetting for all concerned, because neither the talker nor the listener understand what's going on.

A talker with an ASD thinks "Why won't they listen to me?". "Why are they walking away?", while a listener without an ASD thinks "Why do they keep on talking when I'm giving clear signs that they should stop?".

Like SkyNet, I have become self-aware. Now that I am aware of this problem, I can fix it. Here's the solution. If you're having a conversation with someone, and they don't stop talking when you're giving clear signs that they should stop, do the following:-

From http://365thingsiloveaboutfrance.com/tag/french-hand-gestures/

Oh, look. The French already do it. From the above site:-
"Chut! / Silence!

When you want some one to shut up or fermez-la, you can hold up your index finger in the air (not in front of your lips), and give a severe look to the people disturbing you. French teachers use this gesture frequently."

Please don't give us a severe look. We don't do it on purpose to annoy you. We can't help it. TIA. :-)

Both Sides Now: Asperger's.

Continued from Both Sides Now: Nerds!

From http://quotes.lifehack.org/quote/bill-gates/be-nice-to-nerds-chances-are-youll/

A couple of years ago, a psychologist that I was chatting to at a party told me that she thought I had Asperger's. I wasn't upset. I was actually rather relieved, as it explained everything. Since then, several more people, who work for "Disability Challengers", working with children with severe ASDs (Autism Spectrum Disorders) have told me much the same thing.

Here's everything(ish)
A preference for reading science books rather than being with people.
A desire to take things apart and put them back together again (sometimes failing at the latter!) to see how they worked.
Being known as "Professor" at school, as I could chatter away about science facts for hours.
Sucking at forming relationships with women. Logic & emotion mixed like oil & water.
Becoming an Electronic Engineer rather than a Doctor, as it meant working with objects rather than people.
Focussing on a task for hours e.g. Researching, producing new blog posts and updating old ones.
Obsessive behaviour in certain areas.
Loving routine.
Hating change.
Difficulty with communicating facts to people e.g. having a "hectoring" tone.
Offending people without realising it by speaking bluntly or interacting with them in a very logical way, and then failing to recognise their body language shouting "Stop talking!", "Go away!", "Why did you do that?", "I'm offended!" etc at me.

In January 2015, after a series of failed relationship attempts, I asked my GP for a referral to an ASD clinic. After a wait of 10 months, I've got an appointment to see an ASD specialist at the end of this month.

Knowing that I would be seen by a specialist made me more self-aware and I started to push myself into doing things that would normally scare the crap out of me e.g. Approaching a complete stranger in a pub, introducing myself and engaging them in meaningful conversation.

So, I know that there's a monkey on my back and I know what it's getting up to an increasing proportion of the time. Bear with, bear with!

By the way, the computer/smart-phone that you're using to read this post was invented/designed/developed by people like me! Ditto, the Internet.

Continued on Failure to communicate: How to fix it.

When nerds attack!

Things can get pretty steamy. As I mentioned in Both Sides Now: Nerds!, we can be a little obsessive.


Basically, everybody who blogs about Diet & Nutrition is a nerd to some degree. If you're that obsessive about your diet that you've achieved success with it, you must be nerdly inclined. So here's a list (nerds love to make lists) of some nerdy bloggers. This is meant to be a bit of fun, so don't go all nerdy on me and shoot the messenger!

In no particular order, but ladies first:-

1) CarbSane: I like Evelyn because of her no-BS style.

2) Denise Minger: Denise cracks me up with some of the stuff she comes out with. She has an infectious giggle when she's lecturing. She also has the cojones to take on giants like T. Colon Campbell (oops!).

3) Kurt Harris MD: This chap really knows his stuff. I majorly pissed Kurt off last year by nerdily sticking-up for Aldi's "Solesta" EVOO (it only has 6.6% pufas, Kurt!).

4) Richard Nikoley: This chap also really knows his stuff (except for one topic ;-D). I majorly pissed Richard off recently while discussing politics with him. We have totally different views. I goaded him into calling me a "miserable, dishonest, lying f*ck of a wasted f*ck." We seem to be getting on better, now. I mentioned politics once, but I think I got away with it!

5) praguestepchild : An ex-engineer, so an O.K. bloke. I goaded Sean into calling me a "hysterical c*nt". My bad!

6) Lyle McDonald: What Lyle doesn't know about Diet & Nutrition fits on a postage stamp. I've probably pissed him off as well!

7) LeonRover: Not a blogger, but he's proved invaluable in correcting me with expressions such as "Stone the flaming crows" and "No way, José".

Anyway, enough of all this silliness. It's time to visit mum.

Both Sides Now: Nerds!

Firstly, here's the song "Both Sides Now" sung by Judy Collins in 1967.


"I've looked at x from both sides now, from up and down and still somehow, it's x's illusions I recall. I really don't know x at all."

Basically, anything can be looked at in a positive or negative way. Which brings me to the subject of nerds. Please note: The following may be a little tongue-in-cheek.

I'm a nerd. Did you notice?

Nerds: The good
1) We're single-minded & very focused. If you want something to work, get a nerd to do it. Just about every gizmo on this planet was invented, designed or developed by nerds.

2) We don't crave a partner's attention. We're not really people-people. Gizmos, on the other hand.....

3) All of the cool stuff like computers, smart-phones & the Internet were invented/designed/developed by nerds.

Nerds: The not-so-good
1) We're single-minded & very focused. If you want more than one thing done at a time, don't get a nerd to do it. A nerd trying to multi-task can result in unintentional hilarity. Don't talk to us when we're concentrating on something!

2) We can be socially inept. Body language = Double-Dutch. If I button-hole you in a fascinating (to me) conversation, I won't notice any of your subtle signs that you want to escape.

The best way to interrupt a nerd is to hold up your index finger and say "Interrupt request!". If you're lucky, the nerd will say "Interrupt request acknowledged!" and allow you to get a word in. This, of course, doesn't work with telephone conversations. Shouting "Stop talking while I'm interrupting you!" loudly is an option.

We also "teach granny how to suck eggs" by stating the bleedin' obvious - just in case you didn't get it the first few times.

3) We can be a bit obsessive. From Duty Calls:-


If you think that I'm nerdy, see "The big bang theory" on YouTube. :-D

Continued on Both Sides Now: Asperger's.